bA quick (well, not so quick..it’s actually pretty long) forward:
I wish so badly that there were a way for me to make you believe that what I am about to share with you really did happen to me.. a way that I could prove it. If I ever have the chance to take a polygraph test, if this really happened to me would probably be the first question that I would want to be asked. I guess the only thing that I can say to try to make you believe that what you will soon read really happened to me is that.. if I am lying may my soul be eternally damned to hell. I dont know if you have read any of my other posts or if you know me personally.. but, if you are, in any way, aware of my true character (whether you agree with me or not) then hopefully you know that I do not question the reality of hell and that I do not tread lightly on the subject of my salvation. So.. hopefully the action of me making that declaration will, in some way, help to validate my case.
I’m not really sure why I feel the need to write about this today. What I am going to write about is something that I am actually quite embarrassed by.. something that many people will probably not believe or something that will cause many people to think that I am a nut case. Needless to say, I do not care what people may think of me. The only opinion that I care about is the opinion of Jesus Christ. How he thinks of me is actually a never-ending concern for me.. but, as many of you know, there was a time in my life when I didn’t care at all about him or what he thought about me. At the point in my life when all this took place, I actually did not think that Jesus even cared enough to think of me. I was sure that the battle for my soul had already been decided..that my relentless sin had caused the Lord to wave the white flag of surrender over my head. In spite of how I felt, in one intense experience, the Lord reminded me that there was still indeed, a battle going on for my soul..he gave me a sneak preview that night of how ugly the outcome would be if I refused to let him win.
I have been drawn to this kind of stuff since early childhood. In spite of growing up as the daughter of a minister and in a home that had been consecrated to the Lord, I have always been somehow aware to the presence of darkness; even before I understood what is was, I was still affected by it. I knew there was a force more powerful than just my simple fears that kept me up at night. I still do not understand what it is that goes on in the spirit realm..none of us do. Be that as it may, if you are ever given a glimpse into that world..into the parallel universe that hangs above our souls – you will never forget it.
The time when all of this happened, I was working 2nd shift at the front desk of a pretty dead hotel. Usually, besides the occasional guest, the only other person there was the one housekeeper named Rosa and we had a hard time communicating most of the time. As you could imagine, I had hours to just sit there and surf the internet..I used to sleep a lot too. I became the ‘knower’ of all things..zooming around the web like a maniac. I had the whole world figured out by the time my shift was finally over each night. One of the things that I particularly binged on for a while was EVP..or electronic voice phenomena. I became obsessed with it. I would search the internet for my whole shift and look at nothing but paranormal websites. For any of you who may not know, EVP is when a person uses a recording device to capture the voices of the “dead.” There are many well documented reports showing these EVP recordings being captured and many of them are beyond creepy. After hours of researching and listening to them it’s like they got into my head, they would cause my hair to stand on end. The day when I printed an entire book offline on how to conduct your own EVP recordings was the day that I realized that the things I’d been filling my mind with had opened a door..an ugly door.
That night, after reading a few chapters in my new book, I fell asleep in my recliner. I was not sure of how much time had passed, but I knew I’d been asleep for a while because the movie we had been watching was over and the tv was now all scrambled black and white and making a loud static noise (remember VHS?) When I woke up I was sure of one thing though..I was being choked. I could feel the hands wrapped around my neck..i could literally FEEL them tightly wrapped around my skin. What impacted me most that night.. the thing that I will NEVER be able to forget, was the most evil sound that I heard coming from behind me. It was a growl so black that no word in the English language could be used to describe it. I heard audible evil. My ears heard the sound of hell. I sat there gasping for air..completely paralized.. I was unable to speak. With nothing else to do, in my mind, I started to say the name of Jesus over and over..the more I thought it..the more the hands loosened from around my neck. It was barely a whisper, but finally I was able to speak the name of Jesus, and when I did..at the very moment that his name left my lips..everything stopped. I had wanted to record some EVPs of my own, well.. that night the Lord gave me the opportunity to do so. Some of you may think that I could have been dreaming..I was not. My first husband was laying on the couch beside me and woke up to witness and to hear the entire thing.
I know..I know..you may think I sound like a fool. I am not a fool. There is, without a doubt, a dimension that our eyes cannot see. This is not just some crackpot idea that those “crazy christians” have.. the existence of a spiritual realm is an idea shared between people of all creeds and religious conviction. Just turn on your television, being fascinated with the paranormal has become really mainstream these days. Almost everywhere that you look you will see something about hunting ghosts or haunted places..you can even go on ghost tours. May I please humbly say that we need to guard our minds a bit more from these type of things. They are not as innocent as they seem. There is an evil force behind it all and exposing yourself to it just may open a door in your mind that you do not want to be opened. There is a battle going on for our souls at this very moment..I cannot say how thankful I am to have a savior who will continue to fight for my soul..for all of our souls until the very end.