On Peace and the Little Girl Who Altered My Heart

Tonight before bed, as I read to my children the Bible story of Abraham and Isaac, the Holy Spirit deeply moved my heart. I felt kind of silly crying as I read from a children’s bible story book. .  But the simplicity of the story spoke so directly to my heart. I was overwhelmed by the realization of just how much God loves me. Story time this evening brought me to a place that I am guilty of not always being.. It brought me to my knees before the Lord with the faith and awe of a child. 

I could not stop the tears from falling onto the pages as I read. As I struggled before my children to speak, my daughter walked over to where I was sitting and ever so lightly wiped a tear from my cheek. 

My daughter is 7. She struggles with learning and is emotionally and socially behind other children her age. The Lord has really been working and mending some things within her these past few months though.  And I give him all glory and honor for the things He has done and will do. 

My little girl may not know how to read well yet..or how to write her name in a straight line..But my little girl has a heart for God. God gave her a mind fully capable of grasping the idea of His love..and for that I am so grateful. I’ll never forget the day several years ago when she and I knelt down in my living room and she asked Jesus to come into her heart.

I don’t really care if my little girl ever learns to read (even though I know she will..she is making great progress as of late) as long as my children know Jesus.. I will consider the time God gave me to be a mother as time of success.  

My little girl did not enter this world from my womb. She is my husband’s daughter. We got her when she was three. Her first few years here on earth she experienced neglect and many things that I do not know of. . Things I don’t want to know. Oh how she deserved it. . As all children do.. but  that pure and selfless love that mothers should show  their children is something that, during her first 3 years, my daughter did not receive.  

The first time I met her I loved her. I knew that I had met my husband because God wanted me to be Trinitee’s mother. And I am. I am her mommy and she is my mine. 

I don’t see how some people say that they couldn’t love an adopted child. . These People must not know Jesus. That’s the only explanation that I can think of. 

I remember when I was pregnant with my son I was so scared that I would love him more than my daughter. .I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to help it. I prayed over and over during those 9 months for God to please not let this happen. He didn’t. My love for her only deepened. God wove her into my soul and permanently altered my heart. 

28 years ago.. As I lay fast asleep in my crib. . God already knew Trinitee. Beginning the moment I took my first breath, God orchestrated events in my life which prepared and conditioned my heart for the day that I would meet my daughter.  God has it all figured out and knows the plans he has for us and for our children.  And with this assurance, peace.. peace..Such wonderful peace may we find in Him.